Regiment of Women by Thomas Berger

Author:Thomas Berger
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Regiment of Women
ISBN: 9781937854720
Publisher: Dzanc Books
Published: 1973-10-22T16:00:00+00:00

Cornell discovered the second privilege of the barracks leader, the first being the bonnet: he was not expected to participate, or at any rate not very ardently, in the activities to which he led his men. These were largely in the home-economics area—cooking, sewing—the beautician field: makeup, hairstyling. Then there were arts & crafts: dancing, fingerpainting, and whatnot. From what he could see, the curriculum was a little less sophisticated than that of the average boys’ high school, so it would be redundant for many of the conscripts. But he could understand that the Sperm Service had a problem in keeping the men occupied. They were here, as Peters said, to be milked. The rest was waiting.

As to that milking, he was interested to see that nowhere on the duty schedule did such an entry appear, yet the day-to-day program for the week’s events was a fixed one which apparently held good throughout their six-month term. Every Wednesday morning was given over to Knitting & Crocheting; every Saturday evening a film was shown; and so on. Unless the semen-collection was masked behind some innocuous designation such as “Outdoor sports—badminton, field hockey, etc.,” Sunday afternoons, there seemed no provision for it in the schedule.

This was strange indeed. Cornell sat on a folding chair in the corner of the room in which his boys were learning the craft of flower arrangement from a dreamy, pudgy man named Hughie Hayworth, like most of the instructors a civilian.

The more Cornell thought about the omission, the more puzzling it seemed. He could of course question Peters about it, or the captain. He was after all a kind of official, appointed by them. But he remembered that Peters would take over from him when a collection was due: the one job retained by the lazy sergeant. If he, Cornell, had no authority in this area, a question might be considered impertinent

Cornell bit his underlip and looked around the room. The flowers they used were paper, of course. Hayworth was very deftly manipulating an arrangement of big gaudy paper zinnias, having previously put together a nosegay of pansies interspersed with baby’s-breath: the former in a glass bowl, the latter in a swell-bellied vase of green ceramic.

“Georgie, may I go to the bathroom?” It was big, goodnatured Gordie, who did everything well. His flower arrangement, a bowl of roses, was almost as good as one of Hayworth’s, and Cornell had seen the instructor approve it somewhat jealously.

“Oh, gee,” Cornell answered. “Do I have the authority?”

“Hughie Hayworth told me to ask you,” Gordie said, smiling with his big square white teeth. “You don’t know your own power.”

Cornell shrugged boyishly. “It’s all so new. Well, then, sure you can, if it’s up to me.”

As Gordie went out, some of the other fellows looked pettishly at him. Cornell must never forget masculine envy. He went to Hayworth and asked if he could make an announcement.

Hughie gestured fussily with his shears. “I’m just a paid employe here. You’re the officer.”

This statement amazed Cornell, but he replied smoothly:

“There is such a thing as courtesy, my dear.

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